Magpie Tale 148
Fern Inman tasted the soup. Liese
hovered at her shoulder nervously. There was a long silence while Fern rolled the soup over her tongue before swallowing. She looked at Liese and her eyes were
full of apology. Liese felt her shoulders slump. “It’s still second-rate isn’t
it?”
“I’m sorry Liese,” Fern sighed and
patted her shoulder.
Liese looked glumly at the soup.
She was the best second-rate cook in the province, and everyone knew it. When
the Bronze Salamander Inn had been a second-rate inn, her meals had been legendary.
They hit the fine line between tasteless and inedible perfectly. Her
second-rate cooking was so bad it had once killed a dragon. But now that the
Salamander was a first-rate inn, Liese’s cooking just wasn’t up to starch.
“What will I do?” she moaned.
Before Fern could answer, her
husband Finn, came bustling into the kitchen. “The Green Crescent Hero Band is
coming for the week,” he announced. “That’s fifteen more people to feed
tonight.” Then he caught a look at their faces. “Still no luck?” he asked.
Liese shook his head.
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure
something out,” said Finn reassuringly, but Liese wasn’t so sure.
The next day Liese was helping Meg
wash sheets at the back of the inn. The weather was beautiful and she and Meg
where splashing each other and laughing when Finn came running out. “I’ve got
it!” he called.
“Got what?” asked Meg while Liese
tried to stop laughing.
“The Green Crescent Heroes! They
can take you with them.” Finn said to Liese and looking very pleased with
himself.
“Take me where?” asked Liese, all
laughter gone.
“Anywhere. They range all over the
province. They know where all the inns are. They could help you find a new
job.”
Liese thought about it. He was
right. And as much as she loved the Bronze Salamander, it was clear her talents
needed to stay with a second-rate inn. But – “Someone would have to file a
quest at the Quest Office. And I don’t have the money for that.”
Finn brushed off this objection
with a wave of his hand. “Fern and I will file the quest. It’s the least we can
do. After all,” he looked at her fondly and suddenly sad. “You’re like family.
We’ll miss you of course, but it seems like this is the best option.”
So at the end of the week, Liese
packed a bag, hugged the Inmans and Meg goodbye and headed off with the heroes.
After three weeks they had been to twenty-two second-rate inns, and while they
all agreed that Liese’s cooking was horrible, none of them were in need of a
cook. As they rode out from the last inn the clouds darkened above them and it
began to rain, which reflected Liese’s mood. If only she could cook something
to cheer herself up, but the band wouldn’t let her cook. They already had a
cook, who was also their healer and could even use a sword if necessary. Liese felt
very inadequate. At the end of the day the rain had let up some, but it was
still drizzling. They camped in a forest clearing and she went to sit by
herself a little away from the band. She managed to find a dry spot under a
tree. Rina, the youngest member of the band and about Liese’s age, tried to
talk to her, but Liese insisted she wanted to be alone. After giving her a
sympathetic look, Rina had gone to practice her swordplay.
Leaning against the tree, Liese was
lost in her own thoughts when the bandits attacked. At first she wasn’t sure
what was happening. One minute she was staring off into the darkness, and the
next there was a lot of yelling and clashing of swords. Liese jumped up and
found a man pointing his sword at her. She gulped. “Move,” the man growled,
jerking his head towards the forest. Liese was a cook, not a warrior, so she
went. She stumbled across tree roots trying not to think about what would
happen to her. By the time she thought of trying to memorize her way back to
the band’s camp, she was already lost; and anyways it was too dark. Eventually
they came to another clearing where the bandits’ camp was. Liese shivered and
they waited.
“What’d you bring that girl back
for?” another bandit asked as he came into camp.
“Anyone rich enough to travel with
a hero band will pay a nice ransom,” answered her captor.
“I’m not rich,” protested Liese,
sick at the thought of Finn and Fern paying a ransom. They had already done
enough for her. “I’m just a cook.”
The men looked at each other and
Liese couldn’t see their expressions. “Then cook something,” the second man
ordered. He lit the fire and directed her to the food packs. What have I gotten myself into? Liese
wondered. But at least she could cook. More bandits wondered into camp while
she was cooking. Liese concentrated on cooking, glad to be doing something so
familiar. She was sorry when she was done and started handing out wooden bowls
that the men snatched from her.
For a moment there was the sound of
chewing. Only for a moment though. “What is this?” roared one of the men
spitting his food out. The rest quickly followed. They all looked angrily at
Liese. “Who brought her here?” Liese’s heart pounded as the men argued about
what to do with her. She backed away, glad they weren’t paying attention to
her, but fearful that they would do something with her soon.
“How’d you do it?” someone
whispered in her ear.
Liese jumped and turned. One of the
bandits was standing next to her. “Do what?” she asked.
“The food. How’d you make it so
bad? I’ve never seen uncle Rob refuse food before. Could you teach me?”
Liese couldn’t help but feel
slightly flattered. While she was wondering if it would be possible to teach
someone all the secrets of second-rate food, a sharp whistle sounded on the
other side of the camp. Liese and all of the bandits looked towards it. A few
bandits went to investigate. Liese considered making a run for it, but then
remembered one bandit was standing right next to her. “Shouldn’t you go see
what’s going on?”
He took a step forward then turned
back, “Now wait a minute - ”
Suddenly he toppled over. Liese
gasped, what was going on?
“Come on Liese, let’s go!” Relief
flooded through her as she recognized Rina’s voice. Rina tossed her club away
and they ran. “Gold did the whistling,” Rina explained. “He’s good at distractions.
We have the camp all packed up. Once we get there, get on a horse and we ride!”
“What about the bandits?” gasped
Liese.
“We’ll tell the authorities at the
next town about them.”
Liese didn’t know how Rina knew
where they were going, but she was happy to follow. It seemed to take longer
getting back to the band’s clearing than it had to get to bandits’. Liese tried
not to trip and had to keep ducking branches. At last they arrived. Rina helped
Liese on to a horse then swung up behind her. Liese held on for dear life as
they galloped away.
“Well, that was a great adventure!”
said Rina when they finally stopped galloping. Liese decided that she didn’t
like adventures. She wished Finn hadn’t thought to send her off with the
heroes. When they reached the next town she knew she was the most glad to see
the inn, even though it was first-rate and she couldn’t possibly get a job
there.
The heroes spent the next day
consulting with the local authorities how best to catch the bandits. Liese was
happy to just hang around the inn. She talked with the cook, who tried to teach
her how to cook first-rate, and even though she knew she couldn’t do it, Liese
was delighted to be in a kitchen again.
As the cook tried to teach her, Liese thought about the bandit’s question
from the night before. If I where trying
to teach someone, how would I do it? She wondered. Slowly an idea began to
form. When the heroes came back that night, she had it all fleshed out.
“Teach second-rate cooking?” Rina
grinned. “Anyone who wants to learn would fall over themselves to have you as their
teacher.”
Liese flushed at Rina’s praise. But
she was pleased. Maybe this would work.
“But where will you teach?” asked
Gold.
“The Inn and Tavern Guild in
Gibbous City,” Liese answered promptly. “All inns have to be approved by them.
It’s the perfect place for me.”
So they headed out the next morning.
It was raining again, but Liese was happy. Soon she would have a new job, and
if she was lucky they wouldn’t run into another adventure before they reached
Gibbous City.
To find out how Liese's cooking killed a dragon check out The Bronze Salamander.