Thursday, May 30, 2019

The Gist of a Lake


Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash


“And the lake must be spectacular!” the warlock in front of me waved his arms for emphasis.

Professionally, I did not scream. I really wanted to though. This was the tenth time he had used the word ‘spectacular’ as a must, while either only having a vague idea of what the university grounds should look like or being over specific about plants that wouldn’t work. No, we weren’t going to be putting in a man-eating pitcher plant next to the child-development building, not even with a railing, and especially not with a dragon guarding it.

“Right, the lake. How big is it?”

He gestured again, “It’s about two loch ness monsters long and half a monster wide.”

I made a note to find a conversion chart and didn’t bother asking anymore questions. He would either explain the conversion in long winded magnanimity or skip the answer in favor of astonished snobbery. Either way it would be faster to look it up at home. “Star lilies are impressive. They have large eye-catching flowers for the day time and at night when they light up they’ll look like floating votives.”

“No, no! We can’t have any water lilies.”

I held in a sigh. It had seemed like such a fantastic networking triumph when the sorceress had recommended me to her alma mater. Not only was it prestigious to be doing work for Vivienne University, but I also got to visit the UK. It should have been the chance of a life time. Now I was wishing she hadn’t bothered. “What’s wrong with water lilies?”

“Well, Ms. Linden, you can’t put them where there’s no water.”

I blinked. I must have misheard him, “But we’re talking about a lake, right?”

The warlock smiled indulgently and patted my shoulder, “There are lakes and whole oceans on the moon that don’t have a drop of water. It’s very much the same thing here.”

This was such an absurd explanation that I couldn’t even question it. So I foraged ahead, not sure what I was doing. “How about some bachelor buttons… and maybe some monkshood… we could recreate the look of a lake in flowers! A bunch of blue flowers. Blue roses would be absolutely stunning!” As I warmed to my theme I actually started getting excited. I had fallen in love with blue roses just the summer before when I was doing work for the sorceress and was itching to use them again. But the warlock waved me off. “We can’t get in the way of the archeologists. It wouldn’t do to have something put down roots only to dig it up.”

I tried to wrap my head around the instability of this preposterous idea. “And are you sure you want a garden in the… lake, at all?”

“Of course there should be a garden! It’s the most important site on campus! Two years ago a student was doing some recreational diving and unearthed Excalibur at the bottom of the lake. We had to drain the lake to excavate the site properly. It’s the most spectacular discovery in history! We must show proper respect to it.”

“I see,” I said. “I haven’t heard about any of that.”

“Naturally, if we’d announced it right away, we’d be crawling with treasure hunters and professors from other universities would want a go at it. So it’s been kept quiet until now. But soon, we’ll be presenting our finds to the world. So you see, everything must look spectacular!” He positively beamed at me, as if he had just handed over Excalibur itself, and not an impossible task worthy of the fairy queen.

I chewed my lip in thought. A lake without water, a garden without roots, a spectacular display without stability. Was it a demand like this that had caused Merlin to create Stonehenge? Catching hold of the faint hope this thought carried, I made one last offer, “How about a rock garden?”



For more of Ms. Linden's garden adventures see Avalon Gardens.



Monday, May 6, 2019

Withdrawal

Photo by TOMOKO UJI on Unsplash

winter gradually withdraws
stomping off clumps of snow
shaking off frosty icicles 
leaving puddles behind
spring steps up barefooted 
under cotton candy dogwoods
counting emerald clover leaves
calling to the violets and the dandelions
chickadees and cardinals sing back
together they greet the sun




Avalon Gardens


Photo by Michael Bourgault on Unsplash

“And over here we have slumber apples in three different varieties: Short Nap, Golden Dreams, and Dead to the World. They make great healthy bedtime snacks! Next to them are the Apples of Youth, which are lovely for pleasure gardens, as they bloom all year long - even in winter. The fruit is small and sour, not worth eating. And of course, we have ornamental Golden Apples. Fruit appears once every ten years. They are for decoration only, if you tried to bite them you’d break a tooth!” The tour guide gave a brilliant smile and laughed at her own joke.

I smiled back. Outfitting a sorceress’s garden was a daunting task. It was a more than a dream come true though; working with magical plants was always so fascinating - they keep you on your toes, especially the hybrids - and building a garden from the ground up? Well, the sorceress might be the one footing the bill, but this was my garden. I looked at my brochure again. Avalon Gardens: Magical Greens and Nothing Else! It was the largest magical nursery in the States, nestled in a river valley in Idaho. It was so large that we were bumping along in a golf cart on a tour that had taken most of the day. We had just come out of the greenhouses after looking at the man eating plants (which were fed with cows, not people), and it was a relief to get out of the humidity.

“It says on the map here that the mineral trees are close by. But all I see are the apples.” I was a little dubious about these. While they could be quite striking, they were very high maintenance.

“Oh, those are underground!” chipped the tour guide. “The Silverleaf Trees tend to tarnish if left out in the elements too long and the gold ones loose their shine. We just imported some Gold Groves, so the Mineral Caves are closed off until next week while we move them in. And,” she lowered her voice confidentially, “The Princess Diamonds have coal blight at the moment.”

I winced in sympathy. I made a note that a Gold Grove might be fantastic in the entryway, but otherwise, they didn’t seem worth the trouble. I also started a sketch of some Apples of Youth surrounding the wall of the garden. Then I frowned. Did the local teens know enough about horticulture to know better than to try stealing the apples? ‘Youth’ referred to the year-round flowers, not any property of the fruit, which was a common misconception. It would be a nuisance to keep chasing over eager teens out. On the other hand, one bite of the apples would probably ensure they were never bothered again. Those apples were just as sour as lemons!

“Can we see the roses now?” I asked. Roses were always a good staple for enchanted gardens.

“Oh yes!”

We left the orchards behind and were soon amid the colorful bobbing heads of the roses. It was a relief to see all the different hues. Magical trees tended to run towards the gold side. I read an article online once that claimed all magical trees were descended from one ancestral tree that had sprouted from a gold vein so many thousands of years ago; it wasn’t hard to believe.

“Those blood-red ones on the right are Castle Thorns,” said the guide. “Very few flowers. Lots of thorns. Grow like crazy. They make wonderful barriers, though they do need lots of pruning. Anciently they were used around castles when dragons were too hard to come by. They’re still a great addition to any security plan you’ve already got.”

I nodded thoughtfully. Perhaps some Castle Thorns around the garden walls and Apples of Youth more towards the center. The beds of roses were all shades of red from a crimson so dark it was almost black to a pale baby pink. There were deep purples and dusky lavenders, pristine whites and butter yellows and fiery oranges. A faint fragrance wafted up from them. I quickly filled up a page of notes. 

“Most of these are Enchanting Roses. They aren’t magical themselves, but they soak up magic like sponges. So if you need a timer, or a plant to grab an intruder, or a recitation of your grocery list, these will do it. The brochure has a list of the most common spells Enchanting Roses are used for. If you want to do something not on the list, check our website for more details.”

A quick glance at the list told me the colors made a difference in the spells. I made a star next to it. The sorceress would have to look it over to see if there was any particular spells she wanted. Otherwise, I was pretty sure I would have free range. And then we came to the blue roses and I gasped. Oh, I’d seen blue roses before in vases, but I hadn’t seen them growing. It was as if we’d suddenly entered a mini ocean. “They’re splendid!” These we needed no questions asked. They would make an impressive bower for receiving guests. Pale ice blue roses would add a frosty elegance to summer. It would be unsettling. Magical. Perfect.

The guide grinned at my enthusiasm. “They’re delicate, but worth it. Be sure to pick up a booklet back at the office on their care. My favorites are the Sapphire Hearts.”

“What are those, the white ones with blue tips?” I asked then scribbled down her answer Glacial Thaw. I had a new favorite plant; besides the Venus Flytrap on my office desk, the pussy willow and white daffodils in my backyard, the living rocks in my bathroom, the lilac bush down at the park… I have a lot of favorite plants. But the Glacial Thaw roses were at the top of the list.

By this time the sun was setting and I almost missed the black roses. I wasn’t so sure about those. They were impressive and beautiful, but people tended to assume only wicked witches had them and I didn’t like to think what that could do to the sorceress’s reputation. With the sunset in full swing just about the only thing visible now were the giant beanstalks off in the distance.

“Off to the night garden!” cried the guide.

I had never worked with night plants before. As we tumbled along, I wondered if they were even worth it. Most night plants either gave off a heavy scent or a dim light. Hanging baskets of moon violets could mark a pathway, but lanterns were perfectly serviceable. Star water lilies looked impressive in ponds, but how often would there be guests in the garden at night to see them? Unless the sorceress wanted to host a midnight ball or something they would be wasted. And she hadn’t seemed like the ball giving type to me. We passed a field with large sprinklers shooting water over rows of short leaves. I frowned. I didn’t recognize them. They didn’t look like rapunzels, or mattress peas, or anything else I could think of; they had to be really rare. I tried to consult the brochure, but it was now too dark to see it. “What’s in the fields?” I asked.

“Potatoes!” said the tour guide brightly.

“Potatoes?” I asked in surprise, wondering if I’d heard her right. I didn’t know of any magical potatoes. It had to be a new hybrid. Maybe they grew as french fries or potato chips in the ground. How would they get the dirt off? Or maybe they talked? Talking plants were all the rage right now, though I didn’t see the point in giving potatoes the gift of speech. “What do they do?”

“Oh nothing much,” the guide said breezily. “They’re just good honest potatoes.”

“Why?” I asked at a loss for words.

She laughed, “This is Idaho. It would be unpatriotic not to have potatoes.”

I stared at the fields and sprinklers as if I’d never seen them in my life. Of course I had passed several potato fields on my way to Avalon Gardens, but somehow I couldn’t wrap my mind around them being here, in the most magical place I had ever been in my life. How could it be that the strangest thing I saw in Avalon weren’t the golden trees, or the man eating plants, or the glowing moon flowers coming into view, but the potatoes?