for dVerse
Tears twice,
ashes, and a pumpkin.
Tears twice,
ashes, and a pumpkin.
Old cinders change;
a new dress.
Old cinders
change; a new dress.
A pumpkin,
tears, ashes, and cinders,
twice old
dress. A new change.
That fast
gleaming ride was behind mice
That fast gleaming
ride was behind mice
and once
slippers dance into a gold heart
and once
slippers dance into a gold heart
slippers and
a heart dance into gold.
Once was
gleaming behind mice that ride fast.
Coming midnight
strikes. Running from the ball;
Coming midnight
strikes. Running from the ball;
alas! To fall.
A prince with glass leads to the way.
alas! To
fall. A prince with glass leads to the way.
Running
leads; a prince coming from the way to a lass
Midnight
strikes the ball with glass to fall
Ashes and cinders
change into gold
gleaming new
a dress that once was old.
A pumpkin
ride behind running fast mice
coming to a
dance with a prince twice.
Alas
midnight strikes. Tears and slippers fall.
Glass leads
the way to the heart from the ball.
I like how everything was rather muddled in the first 3 stanzas (much like Cindrella's life when the step-mom and sisters moved in), but all made sense in the end.
ReplyDeletenice...great job on the closing stanza bringing it together nicely...and another one that tells a story that is relatively easy to follow...well done on the form...
ReplyDeleteA terrific take on the paradelle prompt; why not a fairy tale ride! It all works well, & what a great surprise when you made rhyming couplets in the 4th stanza; great job--like the line
ReplyDelete/slippers & a heart dance into gold/.
Cinderella was the first movie I saw as a child and funnily enough I can remember it very well. Your paradelle sent me back right there, many moons ago. Well-done!
ReplyDeleteI LOVE this! Just a brilliant write, and so much fun to read.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love the way you retold this story in paradelle form. Nicely composed.
ReplyDeleteso loved the opening lines... nice rewrite of a children's story
ReplyDeleteThe last two lines superbly sum up the fairy tale...lovely, lovely...
ReplyDeleteVery nice...great used of the form.
ReplyDeleteThe last stanza is so perfect.. Well done
ReplyDeletevery sweet. the tale flows beautifully, coming together perfectly in the last stanza. nicely done.
ReplyDeleteIn your hands the form lends itself beautifully to fairy-tale. The best-known fairy-tale of all, yet you caught me up in it as if it was new.
ReplyDeleteYou have used the form very well I agree with the above the final stanza brings it all to a wonderful conclusion. Well done.
ReplyDelete