for dVerse
Day one: me in my new black shoes.
Stepping lightly, sitting mostly
without any idea of how awfully
tomorrow my feet they’ll abuse.
Then my poor feet will cry for rescue.
I’ll change my socks hopefully
and I will walk quite carefully.
Putting on those shoes I’ll rue.
I’ll trade socks for nylons,
Plaster band-aids across my feet
And change into socks once more.
Only then will my feet let bygones
fade away and retreat.
So I’ll forget I was ever footsore.
This was a fun and clever poem. I love poems and songs about shoes. (Pablo Nutini??) It carries through with the 14 lines and rhyme scheme of a Petrarchan sonnet; however...uhoh...it misses in meter (iambic) and line length(pentameter). You roughly had 8 syllables to the line but that wasn't regular. Strictly speaking each line should have 10 syllables broken into 5 "poetic feet". In iambic these are feet of two syllables with the first syllable being unstressed and the second being stressed. This has the sound of a heartbeat - duhDUMM duhDUMM throughout. It is said that is the natural rhythm of English speech.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, this is a very clever poem, and it has your own voice and your own way of expressing yourself. I'm not advocating changing this at all. No indeed. I am just saying, that you may want to take your sonnet writing into another creation and try to add the iambic pentameter element to the next one. As restricting as it sound, it actually results in a surprisingly musical result. Good luck and thank you for posting this very fine poem in its own right.
haha nice sonnet....and breaking in new shoes can be not so much fun....a few blisters....love them when you get them worn enough to be just perfect...i tend to wear mine out....
ReplyDeleteAh, new shoes -- fun sonnet.
ReplyDeleteI saw a woman today go to an outside concert in high heels. What we do with our feet!
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